After much speculation, the Hashtag Gif editorial staff will officially endorse Your Mom for President of the United States.
Typically, Hashtag Gif does not officially endorse candidates. In our founding statement, we promised that we would be “the organ of no party or clique”. While we sometimes comment on contemporary politics, we believe in the process of democracy and feel that it is in the readers’ judgment to choose their preferred candidate. We believe that it would be irresponsible to ‘officially’ step in, given our vast influence and network.
But this is not a typical election.
Our endorsement of Your Mom has nothing to do with her opponent, Donald Trump. While we believe Donald Trump is xenophobic, sexist, and a demagogue, we are not making this endorsement ‘Against Trump’ based on these qualities.
We are instead endorsing Your Mom because she is an atypically talented candidate.
Throughout the time we’ve known Your Mom, she’s been charismatic, gracious and stunning. We’ve met many moms in our lives, but none have floored us nearly as much as Your Mom has. We’ve modeled our ideal template of a woman based on Your Mom, but we know in our minds and our hearts that nobody will come close to her.
On long days and even longer nights, we’ve sat and contemplated her beauty. Was it the result of a divine intervention? Officially, the Hashtag Gif staffs subscribes to the theory of evolution, but Your Mom must have been crafted by something greater. Her sheer existence makes us believe in an all-knowing God.
We believe Your Mom is the glowing achievement of all humanity, the closest thing to pure perfection in our species. Our only reserve we have is that we couldn’t have nominated her sooner.
We look forward to spending the next four years under Your Mom.
